Some of My Favorite definitions

CIGARETTE:
A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool at the other!

LECTURE:
An art of transmitting Information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of students without passing through the minds of either

CONFERENCE:
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present

COMPROMISE:
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece

TEARS:
The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine water-power!

CONFERENCE ROOM:
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on

ECSTASY:
A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before

CLASSIC:
A book which people praise, but never read

SMILE:
A curve that can set a lot of things straight!

EXPERIENCE:
The name men give to their Mistakes

DIPLOMAT:
A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip

OPTIMIST:
A person who while falling from EIFFEL TOWER says in midway "SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!"

MISER:
A person who lives poor so that he can die RICH!

BOSS:
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early

POLITICIAN:
One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence Later

DOCTOR:
A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by his bills!