The Power of Positive Talk by Dr. Abdul Kalam

I remember my dad teaching me the power of language at a very young age. Not
only did my dad understand that specific words affect our mental pictures,
but he understood words are a powerful programming factor in lifelong
success.

One particularly interesting event occurred when I was eight. As a kid, I
was always climbing trees, poles, and literally hanging around upside down
from the rafters of our lake house. So, it came to no surprise for my dad to
find me at the top of a 30-foot tree swinging back and forth. My little
eight-year-old brain didn't realize the tree could break or I could get
hurt. I just thought it was fun to be up so high.

My older cousin, Tammy, was also in the same tree. She was hanging on the
first big limb, about ten feet below me. Tammy's mother also noticed us at
the exact time my dad did. About that time a huge gust of wind came over the
tree. I could hear the leaves start to rattle and the tree begin to sway. I
remember my dad's voice over the wind yell, "Bart, Hold on tightly." So I
did. The next thing I know, I heard Tammy screaming at the top of her lungs,
laying flat on the ground. She had fallen out of the tree.

I scampered down the tree to safety. My dad later told me why she fell and I
did not. Apparently, when Tammy's mother felt the gust of wind, she yelled
out, "Tammy, don't fall!" And Tammy did. fall.

My dad then explained to me that the mind has a very difficult time
processing a negative image. In fact, people who rely on internal pictures
cannot see a negative at all. In order for Tammy to process the command of
not falling, her nine-year-old brain had to first imagine falling, then try
to tell the brain not to do what it just imagined. Whereas, my
eight-year-old brain instantly had an internal image of me hanging on
tightly. This concept is especially useful when you are attempting to break
a habit or set a goal . You can't visualize not doing something. The only
way to properly visualize not doing something is to actually find a word for
what you want to do and visualize that. For example, when I was thirteen
years old, I played for my junior high school football team. I tried so hard
to be good, but I just couldn't get it together at that age. I remember
hearing the words run through my head as I was running out for a pass,
"Don't drop it!" Naturally, I dropped the ball.

My coaches were not skilled enough to teach us proper "self-talk."
They just thought some kids could catch and others couldn't. I'll never make
it pro, but I'm now a pretty good Sunday afternoon football player, because
all my internal dialogue is positive and encourages me to win. I wish my dad
had coached me playing football instead of just climbing trees. I might have
had a longer football career.

Here is a very easy demonstration to teach your kids and your friends the
power of a toxic vocabulary. Ask them to hold a pen or pencil.
Hand it to them. Now, follow my instructions carefully. Say to them, "Okay,
try to drop the pencil." Observe what they do.

Most people release their hands and watch the pencil hit the floor.
You respond, "You weren't paying attention. I said TRY to drop the pencil.
Now please do it again." Most people then pick up the pencil and pretend to
be in excruciating pain while their hand tries but fails to drop the pencil.

The point is made.
If you tell your brain you will "give it a try," you are actually telling
your brain to fail. I have a "no try" rule in my house and with everyone I
interact with. Either people will do it or they won't.
Either they will be at the party or they won't. I'm brutal when people
attempt to lie to me by using the word try. Do they think I don't know they
are really telegraphing to the world they have no intention of doing it but
they want me to give them brownie points for pretended effort? You will
never hear the words "I'll try" come out of my mouth unless I'm teaching
this concept in a seminar.

If you "try" and do something, your unconscious mind has permission not to
succeed. If I truly can't make a decision I will tell the truth. "Sorry
John. I'm not sure if I will be at your party or not.
I've got an outstanding commitment. If that falls through, I will be here.
Otherwise, I will not. Thanks for the invite."
People respect honesty. So remove the word "try" from your vocabulary.

My dad also told me that psychologists claim it takes seventeen positive
statements to offset one negative statement. I have no idea if it is true,
but the logic holds true. It might take up to seventeen compliments to
offset the emotional damage of one harsh criticism.
These are concepts that are especially useful when raising children.

Ask yourself how many compliments you give yourself daily versus how many
criticisms. Heck, I know you are talking to yourself all day long. We all
have internal voices that give us direction.

So, are you giving yourself the 17:1 ratio or are you shortchanging yourself
with toxic self-talk like, " I'm fat. Nobody will like me.
I'll try this diet. I'm not good enough. I'm so stupid. I'm broke, etc.
etc."

If our parents can set a lifetime of programming with one wrong statement,
imagine the kind of programming you are doing on a daily basis with your own
internal dialogue.

Here is a list of Toxic Vocabulary words.
Notice when you or other people use them.

But: Negates any words that are stated before it.
Try: Presupposes failure.
If: Presupposes that you may not.
Might: It does nothing definite. It leaves options for your listener..
Would Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn't actually
happen.
Should Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn't actually
happen (and implies guilt.) Could Have: Past tense that draws attention to
things that didn't actually happen but the person tries to take credit as if
it did happen.
Can't/Don't: These words force the listener to focus on exactly the opposite
of what you want. This is a classic mistake that parents and coaches make
without knowing the damage of this linguistic error.
Examples:
Toxic phrase: "Don't drop the ball!"
Likely result: Drops the ball
Better language: "Catch the ball!"
Toxic phrase: "You shouldn't watch so much television."
Likely result: Watches more television.
Better language: "I read too much television makes people stupid. You might
find yourself turning that TV off and picking up one of those books more
often!"

Exercise:
Take a moment to write down all the phrases you use on a daily basis or any
Toxic self-talk that you have noticed yourself using. Write these phrases
down so you will begin to catch yourself as they occur and change them.

My Dear friends. Don't get so nervous be positive, confidant, realistic and
energetic in your plan and action. You remember you are going to be top
among all others and most capable to handle all odds.
So you must have patience and trust on you. Don't ask silly questions on
Age, Qualification etc. and Don't get so tense about Revised Pattern of
Preliminary. No need to show so much curiosity in this.
Just take it easy, leave it to times in his nature and One day it will come.
So in this context the advice putted by our popular and peoples president
A.P.J Abdul Kalam must work out up to some extent.

Source:
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-Abdul-Kalam?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+ups
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My Favorit Speech of DR. A. P. J. Abdul Kalam

Letter of some facts about India - APJ
The President of India DR. A. P. J. Abdul Kalam 's Speech in Hyderabad .
bWhy is the media here so negative?
Why are we in India so embarrassed to recognize our own strengths, our
achievements? We are such a great nation. We have so many amazing
success stories but we refuse to acknowledge them. Why?

We are the first in milk production.
We are number one in Remote sensing satellites.
We are the second largest producer of wheat.
We are the second largest producer of rice.

Look at Dr. Sudarshan , he has transferred the tribal village into a
self-sustaining, self-driving unit. There are millions of such
achievements but our media is only obsessed in the bad news and
failures and disasters.

I was in Tel Aviv once and I was reading the Israeli newspaper. It was
the day after a lot of attacks and bombardments and deaths had taken
place. The Hamas had struck. But the front page of the newspaper had
the picture of a Jewish gentleman who in five years had transformed
his desert into an orchid and a granary. It was this inspiring picture
that everyone woke up to. The gory details of killings, bombardments,
deaths, were inside in the newspaper, buried among other news.
In India we only read about death, sickness, terrorism, crime.. Why
are we so NEGATIVE? Another question: Why are we, as a nation so
obsessed with foreign things? We want foreign T.Vs, we want foreign
shirts. We want foreign technology.

Why this obsession with everything imported. Do we not realize that
self-respect comes with self-reliance? I was in Hyderabad giving this
lecture, when a 14 year old girl asked me for my autograph. I asked
her what her goal in life is. She replied: I want to live in a
developed India . For her, you and I will have to build this developed
India You must proclaim. India is not an under-developed nation; it is
a highly developed nation.
Do you have 10 minutes? Allow me to come back with a vengeance.
Got 10 minutes for your country? If yes, then read; otherwise, choice is yours.

YOU say that our government is inefficient.
YOU say that our laws are too old.
YOU say that the municipality does not pick up the garbage.
YOU say that the phones don't work, the railways are a joke. The
airline is the worst in the world, mails never reach their
destination.
YOU say that our country has been fed to the dogs and is the absolute pits.
YOU say, say and say. What do YOU do about it?
Take a person on his way to Singapore . Give him a name - 'YOURS'.
Give him a face - 'YOURS'. YOU walk out of the airport and you are at
your International best. In Singapore you don't throw cigarette butts
on the roads or eat in the stores. YOU are as proud of their
Underground links as they are. You pay $5 (approx. Rs. 60) to drive
through Orchard Road (equivalent of Mahim Causeway or Pedder Road)
between 5 PM and 8 PM. YOU come back to the parking lot to punch your
parking ticket if you have over stayed in a restaurant or a shopping
mall irrespective of your status identity. In Singapore you don't say
anything, DO YOU? YOU wouldn't dare to eat in public during Ramadan,
in Dubai YOU would not dare to go out without your head covered in
Jeddah.
YOU would not dare to buy an employee of the telephone exchange in
London at 10 pounds (Rs.650) a month to, 'see to it that my STD and
ISD calls are billed to someone else.'YOU would not dare to speed
beyond 55 mph (88 km/h) in Washington and then tell the traffic cop,
'Jaanta hai main kaun hoon (Do you know who I am?). I am so and so's
son. Take your two bucks and get lost.' YOU wouldn't chuck an empty
coconut shell anywhere other than the garbage pail on the beaches in
Australia and New Zealand.

Why don't YOU spit Paan on the streets of Tokyo ? Why don't YOU use
examination jockeys or buy fake certificates in Boston ??? We are
still talking of the same YOU. YOU who can respect and conform to a
foreign system in other countries but cannot in your own. You who will
throw papers and cigarettes on the road the moment you touch Indian
ground. If you can be an involved and appreciative citizen in an alien
country, why cannot you be the same here in India ?
Once in an interview, the famous Ex-municipal commissioner of Bombay ,
Mr. Tinaikar, had a point to make. 'Rich people's dogs are walked on
the streets to leave their affluent droppings all over the place,' he
said. 'And then the same people turn around to criticize and blame the
authorities for inefficiency and dirty pavements. What do they expect
the officers to do? Go down with a broom every time their dog feels
the pressure in his bowels? In America every dog owner has to clean
up after his pet has done the job. Same in Japan .

Will the Indian citizen do that here?' He's right. We go to the polls
to choose a government and after that forfeit all responsibility.

We sit back wanting to be pampered and expect the government to do
everything for us whilst our contribution is totally negative. We
expect the government to clean up but we are not going to stop
chucking garbage all over the place nor are we going to stop to pick a
up a stray piece of paper and throw it in the bin. We expect the
railways to provide clean bathrooms but we are not going to learn the
proper use of bathrooms.

We want Indian Airlines and Air India to provide the best of food and
toiletries but we are not going to stop pilfering at the least
opportunity. This applies even to the staff who is known not to pass
on the service to the public.
When it comes to burning social issues like those related to women,
dowry, girl child! and others, we make loud drawing room protestations
and continue to do the reverse at home. Our excuse? 'It's the whole
system which has to change, how will it matter if I alone forego my
sons' rights to a dowry.' So who's going to change the system?

What does a system consist of? Very conveniently for us it consists of
our neighbours, other households, other cities, other communities and
the government. But definitely not me and YOU. When it comes to us
actually making a positive contribution to the system we lock
ourselves along with our families into a safe cocoon and look into the
distance at countries far away and wait for a Mr.Clean to come along &
work miracles for us with a majestic sweep of his hand or we leave the
country and run away.

Like lazy cowards hounded by our fears we run to America to bask in
their glory and praise their system. When New York becomes insecure we
run to England When England experiences unemployment, we take the next
flight out to the Gulf. When the Gulf is war struck, we demand to be
rescued and brought home by the Indian government. Everybody is out to
abuse and rape the country. Nobody thinks of feeding the system. Our
conscience is mortgaged to money.
Dear Indians, The article is highly thought inductive, calls for a
great deal of introspection and pricks one's conscience too.. I am
echoing J. F. Kennedy's words to his fellow Americans to relate to
Indians...
'ASK WHAT WE CAN DO FOR INDIA AND DO WHAT HAS TO BE DONE TO MAKE INDIA
WHAT AMERICA AND OTHER WESTERN COUNTRIES ARE TODAY'
Lets do what India needs from us.
Forward this mail to each Indian for a change instead of sending Jokes
or junk mails.
Thank you,
Dr. Abdul Kalam